I'm becoming everything I hate but loving it at the same time...

Spent pretty much the whole weekend in cosplay, went to the Trocadero to play strange Japanese games, recognized and got very into songs from anime at the ball and then spent an hour on Monday playing Japanese songs on DDR. I've even started writing a masquerade skit. Wut.

fuck all this

why can't life be simple?

i just don't know what to do. i know what i want to do, but i don't know if i can do it.

:/

had a lovely day with my favourite boys yesterday.

i spent the day in oxford with pat, shooting some film stuff for one of his friends there. oxford is a VERY odd place, very odd indeed. despite the weather being shit, and us both being shattered, we had a lovely day.

then i came home, had a nap on the sofa (and someone came and put a blanket over me while i was asleep! i love my boys) and then went to the shop and bought a 3 ltr box of wine. me and adam managed to get through at least a ltr and a half between us and, after watching lots of the office, sat up until 4.30am discussing life, the universe and everything (otherwise known as music, film and videogames).

:)

This morning, I woke up with the sun blaring through my skylights, so I opened them up and climbed out onto the roof to have my morning cigarette.

I can honestly say, I have never been as happy as I am right now, or as comfortable as I feel in my own skin.

So, I don't update for ages, then I have a massive one. Okay, where to start.
As most of you know, I spent this weekend shooting the music video for a band called Cypher16 in Glouscester Cathedral & Stanton Abbey. You mostly know about it because of how stressed I've been for weeks and weeks in advance. And now it's done!

This weekend was in equal parts stressful, awful, tiring, boring and fun, exciting, rewarding, envigorating and hilarious.

So Friday night, Vik stayed at mine as we had to be in Earls Court for 4.45am on Saturday and Patrick had very kindly offered to drive us. Stupidly, I decided it'd be a great idea to get absolutely mashed on Friday night, then spent like an hour in the shower, blazed out of my mind, which meant I only got about three hours sleep. We woke up at 3.30am with a text from Elliot, who was supposed to be staying at mine, saying he was outside and needed letting in. Turned out that the stupid fuck had gotten the wrong bus and had walked FIVE MILES from Acton to my flat. Anyway, here is us looking particularly attractive at 3.30am on Saturday.



We left the flat to walk up to Pat's car (stopping for cigarettes on the way).



Now, obviously, I'm used to being in the car with Pat when he's stoned as fuck, but Vik and Elliot were, so I think his announcement that 'I didn't think I was stoned, but in retrospect, I probably am' kind of scared them haha. I'm used to his driving style of going through red lights, taking corners at 30mph and blasting 'Hustling'. We got to Earls Court on time, and Ed and Nash came and picked us up. We drove to Jack's place, had a brief summit with the band, and then head off in convey to Glouscester.



We rocked out in the car to a classic rock and hip-hop playlist that we'd made, and made it to Glouscester in good time. After this, we spent at least three hours unloading, and setting up equipment. I have arms like He-Man from all the carrying and lifting I'd done. We started by shooting the band playing the song for the montage pieces, and we saw them play that damn song at least 30 times that day. Oh well, I actually like it more now.



Anyway, all was going well until like, one o'clock. Halfway through one of the high shutter speed shots, Adrian (the bassist) broke one of his bass strings. And had neglected to bring a spare. Dun dun dun.

Will continue the update later, gotta run out for WFRP now :)

I know I'm a little late with my review of 2008, and I think I'll keep it brief.

2008: Fucking Good Year

That is all.

I'm in an unbelieveably good mood tonight, for reasons that a few of you know, so yeah, happy post for once!

I'm reapply appreciating London as a city at the moment. I was in Camden the other day and I was drinking hot mulled wine, and poking around and there was this group of guys in suits playing Smells Like Teen Spirit on ukeleles and it was amazing. Then as I reached Covent Garden later, one of the buskers was playing Wild World and it just made me smile so hard. I love London in the winter.

I'm so stupidly pleased with myself right now. It's awesome.

Have some Jeff Buckley lyrics.

There's no time for hatred, only questions
What is love, where is happiness, what is Life,
Where is peace?
When will I find the strength to bring me release?

my flat is so cold that i'm wearing a hoody to bed.
this weather is FUCKED.

...still, when we went to get a takeaway tonight, we had a snowball fight, so it's not all bad.

i just caught monty the mouse!
the house feels quiet without him already.

i think i can say that my flat is now thoroughly warmed. phew.
clean up is a bitch.

i am currently posting from wetherspoons in st helens (which will be my ground zero when i destroy the world) on hiro, my eee pc (named so for his tiny adorableness).

i <3 my eee

so, i'd forgotten that going into st helens town centre actually makes me feel sick.
nothing like an early morning trip to remind me.
walking through the shopping centre, there genuinely wasn't a single person i wouldn't cull for the good of humanity. not one i would save.

i'mma gonna go play pandemic to live out my world-destroying fantasies.

so, i'm so fucking dense that until topicless told me tonight, i had no idea i had a free rename token because my old username had an underscore at the start, and lj wants to get rid of all the underscore usernames for some reason.

so now, i have a new username! sweet :)

i've been drunk constantly pretty much from sunday night onwards.
i have a headache.
i'm fairly sure my favourite noises are the clink of ice cubes against the side of a glass and the noise the cap makes when you pop it off of a beer bottle.
oops.

so, my journal has a new look. i don't actually like it though, looking at my friends page this way scares me a little bit. oh well, maybe i'll get used to it?

i'm going to see iron man for the fourth time tomorrow. is that sick? i think thats sick. whatever. on one of the weirdo fan communities (which strangely have gotten really popular after the film was released) someone built their own ark reactor. i totally want one. hopefully, vik will be less irritated about me going 'omg, ten rings, that's a reference to mandarin! omg, look it's cap's shield on tony's desk!' than eva was. though she was a good sport about it.

and I HAVE TICKETS TO THE MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF INDIANA JONES ON THE 21ST! fuck, is that awesome or what?

i've also adopted the quiff as my new hairstyle. it makes me feel half mark kermode, half greaser from the 50's. and isn't that what everyone wants to feel?

now i have to go finish eight crumpets and four pints of milk (stolen from a closed starbucks at five o'clock in the morning) before they go off. ugh.

i'm so tired my eyes are itchy but it feels too early to go to bed
i've eaten at marie's thai place twice in the past two days
i'm listening to the lotr soundtrack
i'm dling the iron man one.
bleh.

'Having made more than $100 million, Iron Man has officially become Robert Downey Jr.'s biggest hit that wasn't attached to the end of a pipe.'

I actually just lol'd so much reading that.
God bless iwatchstuff.

so i just went and voted, which made me feel big.

ken for mayor, sian as my second choice, labour as the members election choice and the green party as my constituency choice. lambeth and southark needs more green.

on the downside, the headache from my scary moment the other night hasn't gone away yet...and it's been like three days now. i feel like i've been mainlining ibruprofen.

holy fuck the scariest thing just happened
for like, a full minute it felt like i couldn't breathe and there was this crazy bad pain in my head, like right between the eyes and i think i passed out for a moment.
fuck.
that can't be good.

my star wars character is a cold, scheming bitch. i love her.

i also love roddy woomble.



losing isn't learning to be lost, it's learning to know when you're lost.